| When you get a call, like I did, from your spouse | | | | At some point, you're going to join your spouse at |
| telling you his dermatologists thinks he has melanoma, | | | | the doctor's office. At this point, you will ask for a |
| the first 5 things you should do are: | | | | recommended Oncologist (preferably an expert in |
| 1. LISTEN | | | | skin |
| Your spouse will tell you everything you need to | | | | Cancer, but not absolutely necessary). |
| know initially. What the doctor thinks the stage is | | | | After a course of action has been suggested, |
| (Melanoma is gauged in stages 1,2,3,4). No one will | | | | immediately find another topmedical center and |
| know forsure without a biopsy, but they have a | | | | doctor for a Second Opinion. And there is nothing in |
| pretty good idea. | | | | theworld wrong with getting a third. |
| No matter what the stage, it will have an initial | | | | Your spouse and you consider options. Sometimes |
| distressing effect. In my case,my husband's doctor | | | | there will be morethan one option. This can be |
| thought it was Stage 4. | | | | extremely anxiety provoking. There is no easyway |
| After you have the facts, there are things you | | | | to deal with this. You can pray, you can ask advice, |
| yourself can do. Even if it's a speck, melanoma is a | | | | but ultimately you andyour spouse (or if your spouse |
| very serious, sometimes life-threatening disease, so | | | | is comfortable, he'll make his own decision) willhave to |
| you will want to consider No. 2. If it is a disturbing | | | | come to a decision. |
| diagnosis, you will definitely want togo to No. 2. | | | | No matter which way you go, who decides what, |
| 2. CALL ANYONE YOU KNOW WHO HAS HAD SKIN | | | | sometimes there is no sureanswer. |
| CANCER OR KNOWS SOMEONE WHO HAS HAD | | | | 5. AFTER THE TREATMENT |
| SKIN | | | | As long as there's another day of life, and when life |
| CANCER | | | | is at stake, you must continue researching. |
| If your friend has experienced it first hand (in the | | | | Researching will be your best friend. |
| family), you will get valuable answers to the question | | | | And if you don't like the way your doctor is handling |
| "What do I do?" | | | | things, or maybe he's not showing enough interest |
| The answers I got ranged from the hospital where | | | | with your spouse's questions, or your questions, or |
| the individual got treatment, the doctor who | | | | what to do next, or anything that doesn't feel right |
| oversaw the treatment, the opinion of that | | | | to you, get another doctor! |
| treatment, where else the person got treated, the | | | | Difficult as it is, we changed doctors 3 or more times. |
| doctor who oversaw that treatment the opinion of | | | | His second dermatologistoverlooked missed |
| that treatment, and any cancer organizations and/or | | | | something so staggeringly major, I almost fainted |
| websites you can go to learn about this disease. | | | | when I discovered it. At least ten serious actions |
| 3. RESEARCH | | | | came to my mind regarding that doctor, but time and |
| This is the most important single task you will do. | | | | energy was needing for taking the next step. |
| And you are just beginning. | | | | I honestly don't remember through what source ... |
| You want to learn everything you can learn, because | | | | the paper, a person, a friend, told me about a doctor |
| you never know what you will find that may help. | | | | back east who, when appropriate, imported a drug |
| American Cancer Society | | | | from France that was going through trials that |
| AAD (American Academy of Dermatology) | | | | matched my husband's circumstances. |
| Institutes of Health - Skin Cancer | | | | The doctor back east studied our "case", and agreed |
| From one of these sources ... friends, cancer | | | | to send the drug. |
| organizations, internet, you will find treatment centers | | | | In the end, I lost my husband to the disease. And |
| near where you live. | | | | we don't know for sure that thedrug from France |
| 4. AFTER THE DIAGNOSIS HAS BEEN CONFIRMED | | | | helped, but we think it gave him 3 more years. |