| We all know so much less about death than we | | | | are being forewarned. When people thank us for all |
| should. Yet, no matter how much we hide from it, it | | | | we have done and tell us they love us, maybe we |
| finds us all. If we could just admit that death is | | | | are being forewarned. |
| inevitable, we would spare family members from the | | | | When they say, "I won't be here next year," we are |
| moral pressure to undergo useless treatments much | | | | being forewarned. |
| more terrible than dying. | | | | Those who fear death are always in ignorance. |
| If we were not afraid to mention death, as if the | | | | Those who understand its profound relationship to |
| word would complete the deed, then we would | | | | the way we live our lives probably have a pretty |
| release all the family from the pretense that death is | | | | good sense of its approach. Regardless of the |
| not in the house. | | | | trappings and tarradiddles of human religious politics, in |
| Then, believe me because I've seen it, those hours | | | | all societies and all times human beings have had the |
| and days left to to share with the dying family | | | | same kind of before and after-death experiences. |
| member would be rich beyond compare. Being free | | | | Death comes for us all, no exceptions. No matter |
| to be with each other in the truth of dying allows | | | | how thin or how exercised you are, no matter how |
| true opening of the heart. Of course, there is | | | | many organic vegetables you eat, you'll die. |
| sadness, but there is also a precious opportunity to | | | | Guaranteed. We are living in a society obsessed with |
| love and cherish and tell the truth. | | | | not dying. Maybe, instead, we could practice being |
| How do we know someone we care for, and about, | | | | people who will both live and die. Why wait until the |
| is going to die? My experience as a caregiver is that | | | | announcement of forthcoming death to bring that |
| very often we do know. There is not a true indicator | | | | intensity of living into our lives. |
| -- the heart beats, blood pressure is usual, eating | | | | As a caregiver, I have always found that those who |
| happens and yet... and yet... We get a feeling. We see | | | | are afraid to live are also afraid to die, whereas |
| that something has changed. We just know. | | | | those who have lived fully, for however long or short |
| Sometimes people tell us they feel death is near. | | | | a time, don't fear death. That doesn't mean we don't |
| Sometimes they tell us dreams which warn us. | | | | feel nervous about the process. Almost everyone |
| "Last night I dreamed I was walking by myself and | | | | has that "Uh-oh" feeling about how it is to let go of |
| this woman came up to me and told me it was time | | | | the body. But the bigger picture -- and it is nothing to |
| for me to go home," says an old lady. As a | | | | do with what people have been taught in church, in |
| caregiver, you know you are possibly being | | | | temple or in science -- is that the biggest heart also |
| forewarned. When dead relatives come to visit, we | | | | encompasses the big truth of death. |