The Curse of the Good Girl

The little white card taped to the wall by the paintingdescribed the picture and its message. "Mom," she
proclaimed its title, Curse of the Good Girl.says. "If I didn't have to work, I wouldn't. The things
But as I stared all I had were flashbacks... dozens ofI love to do are outside of work... my girls,
thoughts swirling through my head.volunteering in their school, our family."
I'd already circled the gallery a couple of times justSo different.
sipping wine, chatting with folks and glancing at all theWhen I was her age, it was ALL about work. I really
art.wanted to succeed in the corporate world... to be
Then I put my glasses on and walked more slowly,recognized and rewarded for the job I did. Getting to
finally standing in front of this whimsical piece.daycare on time, soccer Mom duties and making
At first it conjured up childhood memories, thenhomemade school treats were always my hot spots
hurled me back into high school insecurities, twoof failure.
marriages, kids, careers, and oh my God, now theBut as I write this, I think maybe we of the
Grandma Club."fabulous 50s++ club" helped lift the CURSE.
Picture this... the focal point of the painting is twoOur generation paved the way for our daughters.
characters, Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz and theWhile it may not be perfect, the work environment
Wicked Witch of the West (turned good?). Howtoday is much more flexible and accommodating for
many times have I watched that movie as child,women and families. Choices can be made!
parent and grandma?My daughter's a much-in-demand physical therapist...
Surrounding Dorothy, in an ethereal warm glow, arewho works on her own terms just 3 days a week.
the words of Dorothy's Chant...With the holidays just around the corner, I'm
There's No Place Like Home,reminded of a BLOG I read last year by Melinda
There's No Place Like Work,Shoaf, appropriately named The Designated
There's No Place Like Home,Celebrator. In it she states, "...I believe in the
There's No Place Likeimportance of celebrations. As my family's Designated
Work... Home... Work... Home...Celebrator I may be tired and I may not have done
You could almost hear the Wicked Witch with herall that I set out to do but I believe that this year I
icky green skin and crystal ball muttering; "I tried tocelebrated the ones I love, and I hope with all my
save her but... alas, alas" in her most disgusted voice.heart that I celebrated them well."
I could have been totally alone in the gallery as IAnd so, in the spirit of the Curse of the Good Girl, I
found myself looking down at my shoes, almostwant to leave you with a parting thought.
expecting them to be red sequined. Did I really standDon't add the "P" word to the Curse. There's not
there and click my heals together? Was Ienough power in the Witch's crystal ball to rid us of
unconsciously trying to rid myself of the Curse? Youthe need for everything to be just "PERFECT".
know... the one that's genetically inbred into all usSo, look at your holiday list of "to-dos" this year. Pick
women.out the true "family traditions" to carry on, add in a
It's also known by another five-letter word and itgood dose of family time with no agenda, and above
starts with "G" for GUILT, Guilt, Guilt...all, put yourself on that list! Wife, mother, sister,
I bought the painting and it's been sitting here in mygrandmother, caregiver, friend... you wear a lot of
office for 3 months. I find myself staring at ithats.
whenever I'm pulled in 5 different directions at once.Take care and love yourself, too.
Talking to my now almost 40-year old daughter, I